While many 18 years old were busy studying for their A levels exams, Michelle was being sent in and out of hospital. She was diagnosed with cancer 2 years ago. She is 20 years old this year.
Michelle is one of my best friend’s sister. I’ve known my best friend and her family since secondary school. I watched Michelle growing up. She’s a few years younger than us. A very quiet girl. I didn’t really get the chance to talk to her much because she seemed quite shy then. Sometimes, I thought she looked quite “dao“, and I get the very cool vibe from her.
When my friend first told me about Michelle, I was so shocked I didn’t know how to react. How would anyone react to the news of an 18 year old girl getting advanced stage cancer? How should anyone react? The doctors told her family that it was a very rare type of cancer and they could not determine the origins of the cancer. Not able to determine the origins of the cancer apparently meant they don’t know how to treat it either. If you get nose cancer, you chemo the nose. If you get XYZ cancer, you can’t chemo the whole body and they could only trial and error with medication. They sent samples of her cancerous tumour to USA, and the results still came back undetermined.
The doctor gave her about half a year more to live, but it has been almost 2 years now. I guess I did get to know Michelle slightly better now as compared to 2 years ago. I went out with her family for meals and shopping. We played mahjong a couple of times too last year. I never did talk to her as a friend, because I really don’t know what to say to her. I just tried to be my usual self and make lame jokes that made them laugh. I tried to be positive around them because I know that they are all suffering inside. The last I saw her was a few weeks ago. She was very frail and she was looking very ill. We bought her some food from China town to eat because she refused to eat the hospital food.
I have told my supervisor, as well as, a few friends… It’s times like this, that makes me feel.. what’s the use of studying psychology when you don’t know how and can’t help the people that are closest to you? My supervisor told me it’s the same as doctors cannot operate on people close to them. I read and I practice, still, when I’m facing Michelle and her family, I am silent.
.
.
.
She’s only 20 years old and she haven’t experienced so many other things life has to offer. She’s only 20 years old and there should be so much more awaiting her than death, shouldn’t there be?
In the end, we all have expiry dates and Michelle’s one is up. It’s unfair. Life’s unfair.
I’m writing this blog post mainly to help myself remember this period of my life, and remember the times I spent with Michelle and her family. It’s all these happiness and sadness that makes life so rich, and so precious. Which is why I really hate people saying phrases like “life is stupid” or “I wish I was dead”. If you want to die, there should be a donation centre where you can donate your life and give some to people like Michelle.
Goodbye Michelle. We miss you.
29th June 2010
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Pris,
My sympathy goes out to Michelle and her family. What Michelle is showing you and those around her, is a quiet courage and grace that comes to special people.
Pris, you mention that you are upset by people who let certian phrases that appear shallow, mean and truthfully such words as “I wish I was dead” are just that.
Your statement, ” It’s unfair. Life’s unfair.” Is similar. What makes life fair or unfair? When looks at life, really looks at life, you begin to see life for what it truly is.
Life is a gift! The ultimate act of love results in life.
Being such a precious gift makes me wonder why more people do not see abortion as just a form of legalized murder.
Depending on ones belief system often frames what one expects from life. I have been blessed with a good and so far long life. My youthful years are memories, good memories but long behind me.
I know that no human knows how many years one will be blessed with.
That is why each day is truly a present. Each moment with a friend, or you family are so important. Do you know when that visit or phone call to someone will be the last time you hear thier voice?
I remain young at heart, enjoying time with friends and family from ages 2 to 72.
Life is a gift!
David
Comment by David — June 29, 2010 @ 6:50 pm
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Pingback by Tweets that mention Cancer took Michelle Away | deadpris -- Topsy.com — June 29, 2010 @ 7:21 pm
Thanks
Although I keep saying that through death, that we learn to appreciate the value of living more, when a death happens to someone close to you… it’s still difficult to accept..
Comment by Priss — June 29, 2010 @ 10:34 pm
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!
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Comment by Wordpress Themes — July 11, 2010 @ 5:16 pm
Hey priscilla….. *hugs*
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