I’ve been itching to blog about SBS transit’s official website’s FAQ page for quite a few weeks now.
Yes! Yes! Singapore’s one and only bus service SBS, pray answer the questions every dumb commuter is dying to know *eyes wide open*
Sometimes, two buses of the same service arrive at the same time with one bus being overcrowded and the other almost empty. Why?
Stupid Commuter: NOOO WAY!!!! I thought it was because the buses might get lonely… so sometimes bus drivers make pacts to drive side-by-side to every bus stop for companionship… It’s two or nothing!
Wait… or is the question about why one bus is full and the other is empty? Well, probably the same answer as why the chicken crossed the road!! – It’s just stupid.
It is easier for me to alight from the bus if I stand near the exit door, why should I move to the rear of the bus?
Stupid Commuter: Exactly! If I chose to be a selfish bastard, who are you to tell me to move? It’s a public bus for crying out loud! I stand where ever I damn well please!
Why does the Bus Captain drive so slowly?
This question is my favourite question of them all!
Stupid Commuter: UNCLE WHY YOU DRIVE SO SLOWLY! My lao peh’s 30 year old truck drives faster than you lor! You drive so slowly, block traffic, make me late for work… wah lau eh… I complain you then you know ah!
Just put more seat belts on the bus then raise the speed limit of buses to 100km/h la! Everyone happy right right?
Sometimes, Bus Captains refuse to open the door for me despite seeing me trying to catch the bus. Why?
Stupid Commuter: I think the bus drivers want to sa boh me on purpose! They think is funny seeing me running in my 3 inch heels for the bus and they just keep going. “Neh Neh Ni Bu Bu, you cannot catch me” – kind of attitude right?
The bus advertisements pasted on the bus windows get in our way. Can the advertisements be removed?
Stupid Commuter: What next, advertisements on the front window of the bus drivers so that they cannot see the road? Lang si wu limit eh! We want to see the nice green scenary of Singapore on our journey to work and home, cannot meh?! What, are you going to start charging people VIP seats with clear window views?
Why is it that bus services serving my estate do not go to where I want directly but requires me to transfer?
Stupid Commuter: The buses should stop directly infront of my doorstep! I miss taking the school bus when I was still in primary school. Sigh, so nostalgic…
Why does SBS Transit seem to be looking only at fare increase to improve their profits?
Stupid Commuter: Have they tried looking at fare decrease to improve their profits?
♥
Their FAQ page shows that either there are a lot of stupid commuters in Singapore, or, SBS thinks that commuters are stupid. They came out with these Questions & Answers to preemptively answer our stupid questions? I won’t be surprised if there are many stupid commuters in Singapore, nor would I be surprise if SBS thinks we are stupid 
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The world is full of cocksters.
I recalled once when I was in Taiwan doing my reservist… we were read a whole list of RULES when we were going for our R&R, and one of them is:
Do not sing a song if you do not know the lyrics.
And I wondered… just which cockster did that and end up with complaints from the locals?
Comment by xizor2000 — September 16, 2008 @ 8:31 am
the buses of 2 buses sometimes arrive at the same time…that is called “bunching”. Yes, Our beloved SBS coined up that term and made it official
but sometimes it’s due to the traffic congestion; the first bus gets held up in a jam and the 2nd one arrives ahead of it, that’s why the 2 arrive at the same time.
the bus drivers also damn poor thing sometimes lah…they cannot drive too fast of too slow, must adhere to the “timetable”, and worst, sometimes kena bully by commuters also…
rest assured that our public transport will ALWAYS remain a monopoly. if our government really open up our transport to the free market, government will have no control.
in other words, no compeition and the service will always suck !
Comment by tom — September 16, 2008 @ 4:34 pm